Does anyone else have "Deodorant Posts" but me? As of late, I am forgetting to put my deodorant on before I get dressed in the morning. Now, I have 3 different scents of Dove deodorant, plus a stick of Sure in my bathroom in various locations, but I still forget for some reason. We will refer to my bathroom as Post #1.
Post #2-dresser beside my lightswitch. This is the last thing I touch before I leave the bedroom in the morning. My husband has finally trained me to turn off the lights when I'm not in the room. If I must got past the deodorant (Secret) on the dresser, then surely my memory will be jogged, right? Not necessarily...
Post #3-my purse. I keep a deodorant there at all times (Degree). Oftentimes, I find myself remembering as I drive to school in the morning and !AHA! I can apply in the parking lot! Or if need be when I get inside to a discreet place.
Post #4-school desk. At present, I only have one school stocked (Suave), but I will take care of that by next year. This is in case, I suppose, I don't want to go to the trouble of looking through my purse.
At this time, those are my only posts. I cannot say why I have 5 different brands because I honestly don't know. And to be honest, I don't know which I prefer. But, by the time I begin my day officially, I do have it on.
This morning as I was putting on my Secret, it dawned on me how very disfunctional this is. But really, it's functional for me.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Monday, March 4, 2013
I'm thinking again...about "all things"...
I have quoted this verse to my children, my family members, my friends, and anyone I know who struggles with heartache, unexplainable tragedy, pain, loss, and the like:
"For we know all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to him purpose." Because I do believe that. (In fact, I wrote one entire post about it awhile back)
BUT
This verse is talking about the people who "love God and are the called according to His purpose". But how about the people who don't?
This may not be a revelation to most people, but to me it was. Here was my thought process:
So, if God is only working things out for those who love Him, then only those who love Him can expect things to be for their good, right? But what about the others? Does that mean that God isn't working out things for them?...Can they have this same confidence that we, as believers, do?
And here was my conclusion:
From the beginning of our lives, God starts drawing us to himself. People get in our way, things get in our way, experiences get in our way, but still....He is drawing us to himself. The working out of things for people who have not received the love of the Savior is this: He is working throughout your lives in so many ways, to draw you to Him. Some people turn to God in good times; some turn to him in times when there is nowhere else to go. But this I know-He is there when you turn to him.
So...yes, all things work together for our good before we know the Lord because everything in our lives is used of God to draw us to Him. Pain, heartache, loss, even joy and peace. . .all are part of God giving us a chance to turn to Him, whether in sorrow, desperation, exhaustion, or thanksgiving. Then as we walk in His grace, he continues to work our lives out for our good, no matter how it may seem to us, even when we don't truly believe it. . .it is still Truth! And that's all we can count on, that God's Word and Promises are True!
Many times, I have used the Romans 8:28 verse to comfort people in tough times...realizing that many of these heartbroken people hadn't ever thought about God's give of love and grace. And I've wondered "Am I being honest? Cause this verse clearly says to those who love God?" But God has been working since the beginning of each and every persons life to draw them into His arms...so....it is truth for all of us. When He works for good...He knows the ultimate "good" is His love for us.
So, if you, my friends, have taken time to read this little post, I say to you:
Yes, He is working for your good...during all the tumultuous times in your lives. He is trying to show you that in all things, He is there and longs for You to draw close to Him. Whether you ever have before or whether you have been turning to Him for years, it doesn't matter. He loves you and longs for you to experience His love and grace...and THAT is what is truly for your "good".
"For we know all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to him purpose." Because I do believe that. (In fact, I wrote one entire post about it awhile back)
BUT
This verse is talking about the people who "love God and are the called according to His purpose". But how about the people who don't?
This may not be a revelation to most people, but to me it was. Here was my thought process:
So, if God is only working things out for those who love Him, then only those who love Him can expect things to be for their good, right? But what about the others? Does that mean that God isn't working out things for them?...Can they have this same confidence that we, as believers, do?
And here was my conclusion:
From the beginning of our lives, God starts drawing us to himself. People get in our way, things get in our way, experiences get in our way, but still....He is drawing us to himself. The working out of things for people who have not received the love of the Savior is this: He is working throughout your lives in so many ways, to draw you to Him. Some people turn to God in good times; some turn to him in times when there is nowhere else to go. But this I know-He is there when you turn to him.
So...yes, all things work together for our good before we know the Lord because everything in our lives is used of God to draw us to Him. Pain, heartache, loss, even joy and peace. . .all are part of God giving us a chance to turn to Him, whether in sorrow, desperation, exhaustion, or thanksgiving. Then as we walk in His grace, he continues to work our lives out for our good, no matter how it may seem to us, even when we don't truly believe it. . .it is still Truth! And that's all we can count on, that God's Word and Promises are True!
Many times, I have used the Romans 8:28 verse to comfort people in tough times...realizing that many of these heartbroken people hadn't ever thought about God's give of love and grace. And I've wondered "Am I being honest? Cause this verse clearly says to those who love God?" But God has been working since the beginning of each and every persons life to draw them into His arms...so....it is truth for all of us. When He works for good...He knows the ultimate "good" is His love for us.
So, if you, my friends, have taken time to read this little post, I say to you:
Yes, He is working for your good...during all the tumultuous times in your lives. He is trying to show you that in all things, He is there and longs for You to draw close to Him. Whether you ever have before or whether you have been turning to Him for years, it doesn't matter. He loves you and longs for you to experience His love and grace...and THAT is what is truly for your "good".
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Thoughts after today's sermon
Matthew 6 begins with telling us that we are not to do good deeds to be noticed by men. If our motive is to be recognized by men, then we receive that reward when we are recognized, commended, praised, noticed. But, Jesus says that we shouldn't let our left hand know what our right hand is doing. In other words, we shouldn't want any recognition from people for doing good. These words have been in my mind all day and I have some serious questions and concerns.
In the world (school, sports, etc.) our children are awarded medals, trophies, grades, and such for their hard work and their achievements. I am a part of that. This gives kids incentive to do their best and to realize that as they grow up, life will treat them that way. Doing good, working hard, being all they can be = A successful, prosperous, fulfilling life. Right? After all, that is the way the world works.
But, how about in our churches? I wonder if we are doing what Jesus would have us do by giving children rewards for memorizing scripture, bringing a Bible to church, knowing the books of the Bible, etc. Those achievements are definitely worth working toward and encouraging our children to strive for. But are we teaching them exactly what Jesus said not to do? I think of this especially when I see adults given "awards" at church for various services and achievements. Really? Definitely against what scripture teaches...at least it seems so to me.
I read in a book recently (can't recall which one) that our "award system" in our children's programs at church are so off-base that we need to step back and re-evaluate what we are doing. For example, a child never misses Sunday School for 3 months, brings a Bible with them, and always knows their memory verse. After 3 months, we give that child an opportunity to get something from the "box" (which is filled with kid-friendly dollar store items). But, the child who struggles to get his/her parents up in time to get to Sunday School, never remembers (and is never reminded by a parent) to bring a Bible, let alone learn a memory verse, does not get this chance. Wow! That stings! And, yet, we do it, week after week, year after year.
I have been as guilty of this as anyone, but it has hit me hard today. We are teaching our kids that doing what God asks of us is rewarded when people at church evaluate your works. In reality, we are showing them that they should do good deeds and we will reward them. So, it would seem we are teaching them that their motive is "to be recognized by men".
Am I simply off on a tangent? Maybe. Tell me what you think...anyone who wonders.
In the world (school, sports, etc.) our children are awarded medals, trophies, grades, and such for their hard work and their achievements. I am a part of that. This gives kids incentive to do their best and to realize that as they grow up, life will treat them that way. Doing good, working hard, being all they can be = A successful, prosperous, fulfilling life. Right? After all, that is the way the world works.
But, how about in our churches? I wonder if we are doing what Jesus would have us do by giving children rewards for memorizing scripture, bringing a Bible to church, knowing the books of the Bible, etc. Those achievements are definitely worth working toward and encouraging our children to strive for. But are we teaching them exactly what Jesus said not to do? I think of this especially when I see adults given "awards" at church for various services and achievements. Really? Definitely against what scripture teaches...at least it seems so to me.
I read in a book recently (can't recall which one) that our "award system" in our children's programs at church are so off-base that we need to step back and re-evaluate what we are doing. For example, a child never misses Sunday School for 3 months, brings a Bible with them, and always knows their memory verse. After 3 months, we give that child an opportunity to get something from the "box" (which is filled with kid-friendly dollar store items). But, the child who struggles to get his/her parents up in time to get to Sunday School, never remembers (and is never reminded by a parent) to bring a Bible, let alone learn a memory verse, does not get this chance. Wow! That stings! And, yet, we do it, week after week, year after year.
I have been as guilty of this as anyone, but it has hit me hard today. We are teaching our kids that doing what God asks of us is rewarded when people at church evaluate your works. In reality, we are showing them that they should do good deeds and we will reward them. So, it would seem we are teaching them that their motive is "to be recognized by men".
Am I simply off on a tangent? Maybe. Tell me what you think...anyone who wonders.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Request granted
I was reading my journal from 1986 today...the winter before I met Greg the following May. To say I was depressed is a major understatement. In fact, as I read it this morning, I could hardly relate to the girl who wrote it some 27 years ago.
There was such a loneliness in my life at that time. Being a single parent was not what I had planned for my life. In fact just a few years before, I had no plans of being a parent at all, let alone a single, divorced one. I felt blessed beyond belief to be a mother. On more than one occasion, I had made the observation that "in spite of my mistakes and failures, God has given me this precious baby boy." Still a part of my heart was broken and empty.
Within the pages of that journal, I read thoughts and prayers of the lonely 23 year old girl and found something that was absolutely overwhelming. One night, I had written a prayer, pleading with God to send someone that would love me. I had described in great detail exactly the kind of man I was asking Him to give and even explaining why (as if He didn't know my heart already ;). Because it was so personal, I hesitate to share the details, but to generalize a few: "someone who will love me so much that I will never doubt it...someone who loves the Lord...someone I can feel free to share everything with and who will share everything with me freely...someone who will love my son and take care of us...someone whose eyes even show how much he loves me..." and the specific qualifications went on. What an order that would be to fill! I can't help but wonder if I truly believed God would answer.
25+ years later, I can say without any reservation that God answered that prayer. All of it! Our marriage has not been perfect and we have faced many obstacles, but through it all, Greg Jackson has never failed to be everything I had ever hoped for as a husband! I don't think it was ever as clear to me as it was this morning as I read the prayer I so desperately laid before the Lord that night.
How many prayers have I prayed with the same desperation over the years? Being a mother of 3, many! Why could I ever doubt that God hears these prayers and will answer?I don't know, but I do. My prayer, like the man who brought his son to Jesus to be healed, is "I believe, Lord, help my unbelief." I give praise unto "Him, Who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us."
There was such a loneliness in my life at that time. Being a single parent was not what I had planned for my life. In fact just a few years before, I had no plans of being a parent at all, let alone a single, divorced one. I felt blessed beyond belief to be a mother. On more than one occasion, I had made the observation that "in spite of my mistakes and failures, God has given me this precious baby boy." Still a part of my heart was broken and empty.
Within the pages of that journal, I read thoughts and prayers of the lonely 23 year old girl and found something that was absolutely overwhelming. One night, I had written a prayer, pleading with God to send someone that would love me. I had described in great detail exactly the kind of man I was asking Him to give and even explaining why (as if He didn't know my heart already ;). Because it was so personal, I hesitate to share the details, but to generalize a few: "someone who will love me so much that I will never doubt it...someone who loves the Lord...someone I can feel free to share everything with and who will share everything with me freely...someone who will love my son and take care of us...someone whose eyes even show how much he loves me..." and the specific qualifications went on. What an order that would be to fill! I can't help but wonder if I truly believed God would answer.
25+ years later, I can say without any reservation that God answered that prayer. All of it! Our marriage has not been perfect and we have faced many obstacles, but through it all, Greg Jackson has never failed to be everything I had ever hoped for as a husband! I don't think it was ever as clear to me as it was this morning as I read the prayer I so desperately laid before the Lord that night.
How many prayers have I prayed with the same desperation over the years? Being a mother of 3, many! Why could I ever doubt that God hears these prayers and will answer?I don't know, but I do. My prayer, like the man who brought his son to Jesus to be healed, is "I believe, Lord, help my unbelief." I give praise unto "Him, Who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us."
Monday, September 3, 2012
Wonderful? Who, me?
Psalm 139:13-14 read "You created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Hmmmmmm...
As I read this Psalm yesterday morning, I took awhile to ponder these verses. I've quoted them to both my daughters over the years to assure them that God made them as they are and they are wonderful because His works are wonderful! But, I don't believe these words have touched me quite so deeply as they did when I read them yesterday.
God made me exactly how he wanted me to be. Exactly how I look, exactly how I think, exactly how I feel...exactly who I am.
I definitely have areas I need to work on and improve concerning my life, BUT not on who I am. And there is one area that I often joke about, but it frankly bothers me...
I have the desire to: paint, sew, sculpt, do yoga, mountain-climb, make stained glass windows, have a dress shop with clothing designed specifically for women wearing D size cups and bigger, Christmas carol to everyone in my neighborhood, become a motivational speaker, and sky-dive. (The list could go on and on, but it's getting a little embarrassing.)
Now, God made me as a person who desires to do a lot of stuff! We can all agree to that. But, why? Common sense tells me that I will not do most of those things and if I do, I will not become accomplished or even see these endeavors through to fruition. Instead of beating myself up about this and thinking I have failed because of my fleeting desires, I am accepting that God put them there. Can I search for the purpose? Sure, but why waste the energy? I will continue to explore new things...and hey, maybe even complete some projects. But this I know-with each new experience, God has a purpose. How do I know this? Because He made me this way. :)
And here's the cool thing: It ain't just me! You are fearfully and wonderfully made as well.
As I read this Psalm yesterday morning, I took awhile to ponder these verses. I've quoted them to both my daughters over the years to assure them that God made them as they are and they are wonderful because His works are wonderful! But, I don't believe these words have touched me quite so deeply as they did when I read them yesterday.
God made me exactly how he wanted me to be. Exactly how I look, exactly how I think, exactly how I feel...exactly who I am.
I definitely have areas I need to work on and improve concerning my life, BUT not on who I am. And there is one area that I often joke about, but it frankly bothers me...
I have the desire to: paint, sew, sculpt, do yoga, mountain-climb, make stained glass windows, have a dress shop with clothing designed specifically for women wearing D size cups and bigger, Christmas carol to everyone in my neighborhood, become a motivational speaker, and sky-dive. (The list could go on and on, but it's getting a little embarrassing.)
Now, God made me as a person who desires to do a lot of stuff! We can all agree to that. But, why? Common sense tells me that I will not do most of those things and if I do, I will not become accomplished or even see these endeavors through to fruition. Instead of beating myself up about this and thinking I have failed because of my fleeting desires, I am accepting that God put them there. Can I search for the purpose? Sure, but why waste the energy? I will continue to explore new things...and hey, maybe even complete some projects. But this I know-with each new experience, God has a purpose. How do I know this? Because He made me this way. :)
And here's the cool thing: It ain't just me! You are fearfully and wonderfully made as well.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Why exactly am I still a Music Teacher after all these years?
What will the new school year bring for me?
It will bring little, sweet faces, anxious to please...and faces darkened by anger, convinced that they never please anyone, so why even try.
It will bring children alert and filled with energy...and children so tired they can barely stay awake, from being up late and in some cases up all night for one reason or another.
It will bring new school clothes, shoes, and freshly washed faces...and also faces smudged with dirt from last night's outside game of hide and seek, dirty fingernails, and clothes badly in need of Tide and Downy.
It will bring good attitudes and eagerness to learn...and inattentiveness caused by worry of what the evening will bring, who will be there when they get home, or whether or not they will have a safe place to sleep.
It will bring me a wide range of emotions...happiness to see the joy in faces of those just coming to school for the very first time and those I have watched grow from year to year, sadness for those children who are carrying the weight of their little worlds on their shoulders, concern for those trying to fit in with their peers and never quite making it, frustration with students whose misbehavior affects the learning of others, and hope for the bright spot our schools offer these children regardless of where they fall in the mix.
It will bring little, sweet faces, anxious to please...and faces darkened by anger, convinced that they never please anyone, so why even try.
It will bring children alert and filled with energy...and children so tired they can barely stay awake, from being up late and in some cases up all night for one reason or another.
It will bring new school clothes, shoes, and freshly washed faces...and also faces smudged with dirt from last night's outside game of hide and seek, dirty fingernails, and clothes badly in need of Tide and Downy.
It will bring good attitudes and eagerness to learn...and inattentiveness caused by worry of what the evening will bring, who will be there when they get home, or whether or not they will have a safe place to sleep.
It will bring me a wide range of emotions...happiness to see the joy in faces of those just coming to school for the very first time and those I have watched grow from year to year, sadness for those children who are carrying the weight of their little worlds on their shoulders, concern for those trying to fit in with their peers and never quite making it, frustration with students whose misbehavior affects the learning of others, and hope for the bright spot our schools offer these children regardless of where they fall in the mix.
So...this is why I teach Music:
I love children. I love music. It's that simple.
The joy that music has brought into my life is like no other. Through sharing music with countless students over the years, I feel like I have had a small part of bringing that joy into their lives...or at least trying to. From the time I first began teaching 26 years ago in a high school, part-time, with one choir class with 16 students who were quite skeptical of my abilities, until today when I could honestly do my job of teaching K-6 students on what some would call "auto-pilot", I have sincerely cared about each student. Music has given me the chance to express that.
When I see a roomful of kindergarten students, I know that when I hand them a jingle bell, they are going to shake it and smile! When I sing a silly song and do a silly dance for them, they will always join in and willingly show their enthusiasm! When I sing their name in a song, they light up like a Christmas tree, to know that they are important enough to sing about.
Does their enthusiasm last through 6th grade?...in some, perhaps, but others, not so much. Simply because they are growing up and discovering their lives are changing and are not really sure what they are "supposed" to be enthused about. But, my hope is they will continue enjoying music in their own way as they go through life and that I, their first music teacher, had an impact.
And now, let the year begin! I encourage all of you to sing some everyday! Music is, after all, the Universal language!
Sunday, August 5, 2012
My children were raised to leave...right?
I knew when I had my children that my purpose was not to keep them with me forever, but to guide them to become responsible adults and pursue their own dreams and live their own lives. After all we raise our children to one day leave home, right? Then why, tell me, do I feel this empty feeling in the pit of my stomach?
I went into Kathryn's room a few minutes ago to put some things away and stopped for a moment and looked around. The feeling I had was overwhelming. This time next week, we will be moving her into a dorm room and leaving her there. What a happy time for her! She is excited and looking so forward to this new chapter in her life and I want so badly to share that excitement with her! Actually, I do. But the sadness of not having my baby girl here is about to break my heart.
Every morning when I get ready for school, I look in on that little curly headed thing and am greeted with a "good morning, mama". As I go out the door while she is finishing up getting ready to go herself, I hear an "I love you, mama." I will miss that.
When I get home from school, I look forward to her coming home and sharing her day with me, which she almost always does. She has me laughing with her in no time at the events of the day and along with her antics, entertains me.
When dinner time comes, she won't be there at the table. And when it's time to watch "Modern Family" she won't be there to laugh with me...and eat Cheez-its. There won't be a jeep in our driveway to watch leaving on her way to softball or band practice and no more games, contests, team horn events, or impromptu gatherings of friends. How grateful I am for those memories!
Yes, she is just going to Morehead, which is very close by, and I know she will be home some. I don't want her to want to come home every weekend; although I'd love her to, I know it is not best. And I also realize this is still her "home base" as Greg calls it. But I also know it will be too quiet in the Jackson house and I will miss her.
Looking at her hubcap on the wall, her "How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days" poster, her New York picture, her pictures of friends and family, her various colors of duct tape on her dresser, along with many other odds and ends makes me want to go back just one more year...or several. It doesn't seem possible that my baby girl is grown but it is not only possible, it has happened.
This sadness at the passing of time seems so very silly to me...even selfish...and for that I am a little ashamed, but feelings are feelings. period. Having been through this before, I know this overwhelming sadness will pass and I won't always feel this way. For that I am thankful.
Greg and I got married with two children, Josh was 3, Ashley was 4. So, we have never lived together without kids! Our trip to NYC was proof that we will have fun and enjoy our time together and life will go on as we watch our children live their lives and face the joys and challenges that being adults can bring. Thank God for His promise that if they are brought up in the way they should go, when they are old they will not depart from it.
Not sure why I felt the need to post all this, but I do know that my tears, for the moment have dried and I'm feeling better. :)
I went into Kathryn's room a few minutes ago to put some things away and stopped for a moment and looked around. The feeling I had was overwhelming. This time next week, we will be moving her into a dorm room and leaving her there. What a happy time for her! She is excited and looking so forward to this new chapter in her life and I want so badly to share that excitement with her! Actually, I do. But the sadness of not having my baby girl here is about to break my heart.
Every morning when I get ready for school, I look in on that little curly headed thing and am greeted with a "good morning, mama". As I go out the door while she is finishing up getting ready to go herself, I hear an "I love you, mama." I will miss that.
When I get home from school, I look forward to her coming home and sharing her day with me, which she almost always does. She has me laughing with her in no time at the events of the day and along with her antics, entertains me.
When dinner time comes, she won't be there at the table. And when it's time to watch "Modern Family" she won't be there to laugh with me...and eat Cheez-its. There won't be a jeep in our driveway to watch leaving on her way to softball or band practice and no more games, contests, team horn events, or impromptu gatherings of friends. How grateful I am for those memories!
Yes, she is just going to Morehead, which is very close by, and I know she will be home some. I don't want her to want to come home every weekend; although I'd love her to, I know it is not best. And I also realize this is still her "home base" as Greg calls it. But I also know it will be too quiet in the Jackson house and I will miss her.
Looking at her hubcap on the wall, her "How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days" poster, her New York picture, her pictures of friends and family, her various colors of duct tape on her dresser, along with many other odds and ends makes me want to go back just one more year...or several. It doesn't seem possible that my baby girl is grown but it is not only possible, it has happened.
This sadness at the passing of time seems so very silly to me...even selfish...and for that I am a little ashamed, but feelings are feelings. period. Having been through this before, I know this overwhelming sadness will pass and I won't always feel this way. For that I am thankful.
Greg and I got married with two children, Josh was 3, Ashley was 4. So, we have never lived together without kids! Our trip to NYC was proof that we will have fun and enjoy our time together and life will go on as we watch our children live their lives and face the joys and challenges that being adults can bring. Thank God for His promise that if they are brought up in the way they should go, when they are old they will not depart from it.
Not sure why I felt the need to post all this, but I do know that my tears, for the moment have dried and I'm feeling better. :)
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