Forgiveness

Confession: I have been pretty lax in my Bible reading and the like here of late. Not proud of it, just honest. So, I have a little book by Stormie Omartian about praying through the Bible. Each day has a short passage to read and then a short application and prayer. Beginning in Genesis, it goes through each book and gives a few days to each. I am only in the beginning of the New Testament, so that shows I have a little way to go before finishing the book so believe me, I have read it sporadically at best. So...last night, I decided to get it off the shelf and "do a lesson".

When I opened the book and turned to where I left off last time, the passage from the book of Luke was:  Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."  

Okay, this was one of those times I thought "God, in all your vastness and greatness, you still take time to look into my heart and mind and know my thoughts!" Because...I have been thinking about forgiveness a lot lately. 

Jesus looked past what was being done to him and, because of His love for those hurting Him, asked His Father to forgive them. Read that last sentence a few times, just to see if it impacts you as it did me. He wasn't just saying that to make himself look good or to leave us a nice piece of literature to inspire us...He was saying it because His love trumped any hurt He felt. 

If my child (any of the 3) was hurting me, and I thought God would punish him/her because of it, I would most certainly say "Forgive them, Father, for they don't know what they're doing." Why? Because I love them. No matter what they do, I want God to forgive them and would beg for that right in the midst of anything they do.

Why, then, do I not have that reaction when someone hurts them or someone else I care about? If my child is hurt by someone, why don't I have the reaction of: "Forgive those who are hurting my child, Father, for they don't know what they're doing."? What about Greg? Do I ask God's mercy on those that hurt him? And even other members of my family and my friends...there are hurts inflicted years ago that I still cringe when I think of them and I don't think I've ever said "God forgive them, for they didn't know what they were doing." 

Why is my reaction so different than the reaction of Jesus (who I claim to know, love, and follow)? I'm afraid it is simply because I do not love with the love of Jesus. Ouch! That's painful. It's not all about my forgiving them, although I should. (I have been in great need of others' forgiveness plenty of times) It's about the fact that if I love them with "Jesus love", I will automatically think "Forgive them, Father" because of that love. It is just that simple.

I will only have that natural and total forgiveness (without struggling and grudge holding) when I truly have "Jesus love" to share. And God knows I WANT to forgive! After all, how can I not, knowing He has forgiven me? I just feel as if He has shown me the only way is to have His love for others. My prayer now is going to be "God, give me that kind of "Jesus love" for ALL people everyday." Then, the forgiveness issue shouldn't be an issue anymore.

Even when I am "lax"...all it takes is my turning to Him and it's as if He says "Welcome back, Cindy, let's go on from here." And that's what kind of a God I serve.